Ask it will be given.
Seek and you will find.
Knock and the door will be opened for you.
You are a stranger to your own life walking through the events which are etched on the path of the time machine. This is what you will feel when you look back.
In this time and in this point it seems like an mountain. But there is always light at the end of path as you cross the mountains, valleys and rivers. Ask for the better!
Things don’t matter, People do! I was home sick in the last leg of my trip and it was a little surprising as I was with family all the while. Of course people are important, like friends I live with who create a safe and comfortable environment for me, who are my life line for survival and people I see for more then 8 hours in a day – people I work with and like working with 😉 and lets not forget my maids, they are indirectly responsible for all my professional success.
But there are “things” which I missed terribly, my bed, my notepad which had a checklist of my life events by date and my ergonomic mouse which never left me in past 7 years. Without these I can still survive.
But sorry, things do matter and ask me about it. My water bottle. Anyone who knows me has a good idea about my unhealthy obsession with my red water bottle. I literally don’t go anywhere without it and I have panic attacks if I ever misplace it. As it would be, I packed it with me and took it on the trip. But due to some unforeseen circumstances I could not use it and it got lost in the sea of family luggage. I had withdrawal symptoms, severe distress whenever I had to use another bottle and I think I almost stopped drinking water as I was sad without my water bottle towards the end of the trip. As we braved the 24 hrs journey to be back at home, I started unpacking as soon as I stepped into the house. My parents already know I am crazy and did not stop me. The stupid airlines misplaced two of our suitcases and we had to return without them. All the while my heart was pounding thinking if my water bottle was in the luggage thats misplaced.
I had a easel, paints, art equipment, expensive wardrobe, a whole section of family clothing which was in the missing suitcases but all I could think of was the water bottle. And when I found it in my luggage and held it with me – the feeling was priceless. I could not have been happier with 2 misplaced suitcases and my red water bottle!
I caught up with old school friends after years in SF and it still feels the same. You still feel the same warmth and love you shared as kids.
I realized through our conversation how people and perceptions change with age! In my head I see everyone in black or white without grey tones. So there are only two compartments in which I place people. Either I like something or someone, or not, there are no sort ofs. My friends get mad at me for this.
I had this whole image about my schoolmates and its so surprising and amazing to see how thing turned out after so many years. The over achiever kids, the rebellious kids, the intellectual kids, the naughty kids and the kids like me who were quite and scared out of wits half the time because of the monster teachers!! I was an uncomplicated kid. Complete introvert. I had this image on how others would grow up based on my perception about them as a kid. Some lived up to it and some surprised me.
I was surprised when a friend described me now as – a bit rebellious, a bit opinionated, lost in thought and above all a Romantic. I would still say he has a fairly positive opinion about me because if you ask me – I am more opinionated, less rebellious, most of the times in my world and cant imagine being a romantic. I am extrovert by choice, for my job. I never imagined someone could think of me as the quite kid.
But coming to the point, Perceptions build over a period of time. It’s tough to change them as people are the same in your head when they may be different in real. And from what I see perceptions are more real than reality. It easy to build but hard to change.
After spending 3 hours in a day, this is what I came up with. Painting is the only thing that de-stresses me.
With nothing to do for 3 weeks at home, I had to kill time when the star plus serials were not on! So ordered a bunch of books from Flipkart.
One of my first books was during summer holidays in school. I would visit my village which had a huge library and we would rent books every alternate day. Thankfully we have a huge house with the biggest courtyard I can think of with marigold flowers and the back yard filled with banana trees. We would spend all our time with the smell of wet red mud.